Like a Lady? Like a Boss! by Eva Krevchuck-Villejo

As a child, I spent a great deal of time with my grandma. From learning new line dances, to going on adventures at the neighborhood park, to attending monthly Filipino friend parties, she did not fail to entertain me. Almost as devout as Mary Magdalene, my grandma dragged me along to the weekly worship service, one of the less exciting activities included in my “Grandma time.” As much as Mass meant worship, it also meant socializing with elderly people, catching up on the latest Church gossip, and eating donuts after the service. While I found ways to keep myself occupied, my grandmother’s rules of conduct at Church bothered me. I was to act as “lady-like” as possible. Sit up straight. Pull hair back neatly. Speak politely. Keep my shirt tucked in. Wear my expensive dress. Blush when people complimented me. These were my grandma’s expectations for me when in public, and I was to follow them without question.

As I grew older, I stopped acting like an obedient puppy and doubted these rules. Why did having a tidy appearance, wearing over-priced clothing, and keeping my thoughts to myself classify me as a lady? In my high school world history class, I learned that historically, a lady was a woman of affluence and power. Because the term originated around 1200 C.E., a time when social class was critical to Medieval Europe, society believed that a woman who looked sophisticated and acted modestly was fit for nobility. Although “aristocrat” and “lady” both describe women who exhibit courtesy and elegance, the two titles have clear distinctions. An aristocrat holds a superior status through wealth, education, or social prestige, but a lady uses whatever gifts she has to benefit others because she recognizes her duty to society. Queen Elizabeth I, wearing ornate dresses, speaking decorously, and basking in her political supremacy, ascribed to the preceding title. But with all due respect for Her Greatness, one would expect that 500 years would cause this obsolete idea of lady to lose influence.

Sadly, this image has not entirely faded over the years. Today, some countries have allowed a distorted concept of a lady to influence federal law and modern culture. These societies, smug in their patriarchal systems and infrastructures, place little value in women beyond their appearance or classic, domestic roles. However, through passing restrictive laws on women’s basic rights, foreign governments overlook what women might accomplish if they are allowed to step over societal boundaries. As a testament to the potential of young women, Malala Yousafzai has defied the oppressive expectations of a lady in Pakistan and instead has been her own version of a lady; along the way, she became a Nobel Peace Prize-winning activist for women’s education and human rights. Malala has proven that teenage girls who come from diverse social backgrounds and are unafraid to stand against injustice and lady-like standards can evoke national, even global change.

While the United States may not be as restrictive of women as certain foreign countries, many Americans berate themselves and their sisters, nieces, or granddaughters for unlady-like behavior. Girls have been taught that a “good little lady” is one remains quiet, humble, and submissive to elders or males in her life. By encouraging unnecessarily restrained behavior, however, adults are actually doing more harm than help; they are teaching young girls to believe in the inferiority of their gender. What might this belittling concept of a lady mean in the grander scheme of the world? To start, we may be missing out on valuable ideas that could contribute to the social, political, and economic progression of our world. If certain societies did not associate the idea of a lady with powerlessness, we might even have solutions to several global issues. The world is constantly changing with new beliefs, standards, and styles; thus, girls should not be limited from growing to their full potential.

As well as diminutiveness, females are taught that physical attractiveness will make them more desirable and successful. Television commercials, magazine advertisements, and radio spiels promote products and services that can bless women with a desirable figure, covetable wardrobe, lengthy eyelashes, or perfect smile. With a slogan of “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline,” Maybelline swears that it can help women achieve beauty even if they are not naturally good-looking. Weight Watchers, a company that provides top-notch health counseling, insists that their weight loss program leads participants to prosperity. In a world in which girls are constantly told that passivity and beauty are essential, society pressures young women to conform to a historic, objectifying image of a lady. However, physical appearance and expected behavior should not be the deal-breaker. When a woman is taught that looks alone will help her to achieve their goals, she can forget about the more substantive characteristics of a lady, a woman who has an inquisitive mind, honesty in words and in actions, confidence in individuality and ideas, and a dedication to doing what is right.

Because society does not often teach that a lady is multidimensional, girls should see real women who exhibit these characteristics of a lady. Emma Watson, the actress who played Hermione Granger in the famous Harry Potter series, is as a role model for young girls. She has made education trendy as she attended Brown University, and she does not hesitate, as seen through her campaigns for LGBT, female, and humanitarian rights, to stand for what she believes in. Watson is the epitome of what it means to be a lady; her success, intelligence, and kindness have allowed her to make significant changes in the way the world views women. In the older generation of ladies, Aung San Suu Kyi is a supporter of peaceful demonstrations, a proponent of civil disobedience, and the President of Burma’s National League for Democracy. Suu KYi has used her outspoken personality and passion for equality to promote a democratic government and society. The list of laudable women could continue ad infinitum, and girls should undoubtedly learn from them. Most importantly, though, girls should understand that they can be influential ladies too. If she can, so can I!

Those who are quick to put down the multifaceted interpretation of a lady fail to realize how powerful this type of woman is. It is not to say that women cannot love expensive clothing or have a quiet personality, but women should realize that they are more than a Lily Pulitzer dress, polite manners, or an affluent upbringing. We must stop telling our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, and ourselves to hold our tongues; instead, we must believe in how broad the horizons of our potential are. We must respect all ladies so that we continue to support one another, have courage to speak our minds, and contribute to the world. Our world is changing, so we must encourage each other not to accept the traditional, degrading “act like a lady” nonsense. We must remember that there is much to celebrate about being a female, a woman, and a lady.

Risks 

In my first paragraph, I included multiple fragments that emphasized how degrading my grandma’s expectations of “lady-like conduct” were. These rules made me feel like a dog that was obeying commands. 

I used an anaphora in the last paragraph with the repetition of the words “we must.” My hope was to convey a sense of urgency in the idea that young girls need to feel empowered.

Audience

I addressed my intended audience by including examples of contemporary, well-known women who fit my definition of a lady. I used the narration in my introductory paragraphs to share a story that hopefully teenage girls can relate to if they have been told at some point to “act like a lady.” In the ending paragraph, I use an anaphora by repeating the words “we must”; this repetition was meant to empower teenage girls and show them that I stand with them.