(1) The Curious Case of Kelsey Alexander

Kelsey Alexander (?)

So I read this short article - Department Of Education Hires Art Teacher To Spread Evenly Across All U.S. Public Schools, in The Onion - and on first blush I really liked it. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan praised the recent hiring of art teacher Kelsey Alexander. She is tasked with promoting art for all students across all public schools in the US.

If you're scratching your head, and wondering what is wrong with this story, then you're in the same boat as I am:

(a) There 98,000 schools for Ms. Alexander to visit, and she is slated to teach at every single one (hmm). She will cycle through these schools, and when she's finished, she will cycle again.

(b) “An education in the visual arts is a vital part of every child’s education, and with Ms. Alexander’s hiring, we can now guarantee that each student in America will have an art class at some point during their K-through-12 years. We know she will make a wonderful addition to every single school district in the country," says Secretary Duncan.

I thought: Wouldn't it make more sense to craft a strategic plan to engage current art teachers, train and hire more of them, and fund their curriculum and materials? This way, students actually get a program, as opposed to one-off, "40-minute art course."

(c) Speaking of "fund," apparently the 26-year old art teacher has already spent about $3.2 million on art supplies out of pocket for her cross-country lessons. $3.2 million (huh), an art teacher has this sort of wealth (huh)?

(d) Who is Kelsey Alexander anyway? Here is a Kelsey Alexander who's a dancer, choreographer and director.  Here is another Kelsey Alexander who's an art teacher at Asheland Studios.